Thank you to all who sent lovely notes and flowers during the past week. We appreciate all your love and support. The anniversary of Brianna's death was difficult. Already one year and I am still in disbelief. But life must go on, as difficult and painful as it is, and we have decided to rent another home. We are all happy about it too.
The new place is closer to town and will cut my husband's 1-hour-and-twenty-minute work commute (each way I might add) down to less than an hour. He will gain about 45 minutes of his day back to do some things he just doesn't have time for now. Our son's high school is now 10 minutes away rather than 25, and we will be in a real neighborhood. Not that we aren'[t in one now, but it will be different.
The bittersweet part of this move is that this is the last house Brianna was in. And we must go through her room. So we spent June 15 trying to do just that. Instead, I just cried and cried and cried. She would be happy about this move.
So in less than a month, we must pack a 5 bed, 5 bath house and move it to another 5 bed, 3 bath house across town. However, John and I will be doing most of the move. On Sunday, Trevor left with 23 other students from his high school and the group Edu-Culture (ECI) to study in Spain for three weeks. Of course all my husband's and my fears welled up about his safety as we wondered if we did the right thing.
Thankfully, I sent along an international cell phone and talked to him the day he arrived in Madrid. Some 28 hours later, after two flights, a bus ride to the Mediterranean coast, a 9-hour time difference and virtually no sleep, he sounded a little subdued. A second call later in the day told me he had perked up a bit and was soaking in all the differences between our little world in Northern California and the history-soaked homeland of the conquistadors.
So I am apologizing in advance for not staying in contact as well as I should. But the Wilcox household is in a state right now and I am hoping it will begin to settle when Trevor returns - July 14 - and we are officially moved by July 19. There is still much more crying as we go through all the life in Brianna's room, and much more back breaking work. But in the end, this will be a good move for what's left of our little family. Thank you again for understanding and your patience. Love and hugs to you all...Iva
No apologies need Iva! Life does indeed go on, sometimes when we wish it would stop or at least turn back for one more minute. My thoughts are with you. May the move be therapeutic, bringing you all closer to a peaceful place.
Posted by: Dede Warren | June 24, 2008 at 01:24 PM
Hello Iva,
So much you have been through. I'm sorry.
What you said about your Brianna being happy that you were moving? I think that is right!
All of us will be thing of you.
My husband and I will be moving too soon. So if you ever need a packing break or reality check, just email!
Thinking of you and yours!
xox
Constance
Posted by: rochambeau | June 24, 2008 at 02:41 PM
Iva, my heart is with you...i hope the move is a good thing for your family to move on and continue to heal after your unspeakable loss...
ps: i hope Trevor has an amazing time in Spain, how lucky that he got to go on such a wonderful trip:)
Posted by: Lori | June 24, 2008 at 05:52 PM
Hello~this is my first visit here and my heart has been broken.. I feel so bad for you and your family. People say that's the worst pain a person can go through. (losing a child) I hope and pray to God I never ever have to go through what you've been through...
Take care angel.. may your heart be strong!
Posted by: Carrie West | June 28, 2008 at 09:24 PM